He’s the ardent, armchair, die-hard supporter
With the long suffering wife and a football-hating daughter
Whom he’s named Keegan, Paisley, Toshack or Shankly
(Though he’s never been to Anfield himself, quite frankly.)
He’s the ardent, argumentative pub cheering fan,
Who can yell at the telly and drink like a man
And his mind is obsessed with his ultimate dream –
To father a child named after the 1999 Man United treble winning team!
He’s the tough and the terrifying touch-line dad
Who shouts foul abuse when when the ref makes him mad.
One day they’ll all see that his son has the skill
To score goals for England, he’ll show them, he will!
He’s the ultimate Big Man, the football geezer
He doesn’t do cooking, save pies from the freezer,
He’s bought all the tee-shirts on away day crime
Or so he will claim, he was a legend in his time.
He’s the ardent, armchair die hard Blue.
Each day that he lives, his devotion is true.
AND HE KNOWS MORE THAN ME, AS HE LIKES TO REMIND ME –
He’ll push in at the bar if he’s standing behind me.
He’s the ultimate armchair die hard Gooner
He would have supported them so much sooner –
But he used to be Leeds when younger and thinner,
And they went to pot and he needed a winner.
He’s the ultimate replica shirt wearing bloke
See him out in the street with the like-minded folk
See them out at King’s Cross if their rivals have lost
Dishing out their abuse and showing us who’s boss.
Well you picked on the wrong woman, Ultimate Man
Go back to your armchair from where you began,
I may be a female but I know my facts.
I am a die hard and you’re just an act.
© Carol Ann Wood
Index of Posts:
- Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered
- Georgie Porgie
- Shirt Man: Sign Of the Times
- Anthem For Doomed Yoof
- If Carlsberg Did Birthdays
- An (Extra)ordinary Boy
- Mummy’s Precious Prat
- World Cup Fever
- Don’t Be A Wannabeeeeeee
- Ray’s Chelsea Story
- I was a Butch Wilkins Babe
- That Day Will Never Come
- Plastic Clearout
- Back To Basics:
- Lazy Players Don’t Work Hard
- The Transfer Troll Is King
- The Night The League Was Won
- A die-hard Chelsea Woman
- Breaking News on PieGate
- Chinese Puzzle
- Older Fans Matter
- Bradley Lowery’s Goal
- The Geezer That’s David Luiz
- You Are Old Said The Mail
- Dear Lady Brady,
- Dear Matthew Harding,
- In Memory Of Matthew Harding: 26/12/1953 – 22/10/1996
- Geezer Love
- Love Letters From The Stand
- Costa: More sinned Against Then Sinning With apologies to The Bard Himself. King Lear (3.2.49-60)
- Reunited: The return of David Luiz to Chelsea
- Hello Again, Geezer!
- The Rumour Mill
- Half a chance?
- Dear TV People,
- Rhyme and Treason
- Your Breaking News Ain’t Breaking Us
- We Didn’t Want Him Anyway
- Closing In
- The Blame Game
- How They Destroyed The Beautiful Game
- Till Death Do Us Part ….
- Ossie – King Of The Bridge
- The Ardent Armchair Die-hard Supporter
- The Day A Dream Came True
- The Toddler’s ABC Of Football
- Save our Claudio
- Once upon a terraced time
- The Night We Were Robbed
- Oh for the Cup Winner’s Cup
- The Football Fan’s Trap
- League Ladders
- He Doesn’t Go
- For Matthew
- Big Man
- Back To The Future
- Rare Find
- The Football Supporter’s Guide To The Close-Season
- From The Hearts Of The Fans
- My Poetry, My Football Club
- Judged by association…
My bespoke poetry service, Diverse Verse
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NOT Just Saying: Carol’s comments on feminism, fashion, food and folly
Only in Erinsborough Carol Ann’s fun look at the lives and loves of the characters from the Australian soap, Neighbours
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