A’s for Away Fans who shout naughty things,
There’s always a fat man at whom your fans sing!
B is for Burgers, all greasy and yuk,
If you don’t get poisoned it’s just by sheer luck.
C is for Corporates, flash suits and ties,
They sit in glass boxes and never eat pies.
D is for Diving like some players do.
They land with a thud and then roll around too!
E is for Eng-er-land when men with big bellies
Drink cans of lager and shout at their tellys.
F is for Flags on poles, waved very high,
And the man in the front yells you’ve poked out his eye!
G is for Going Down, it’s called relegation,
The fans weep and scream and then shout in frustration.
H is for Half Time, you stand in a queue,
When the second half’s started you’re still in the loo!
I is for Injuries, see players groan,
Then the stretcher comes on and they walk on their own!
J is for Jammy, like some teams in red,
And all their supporters have got a big head.
K is for Kick Off times, made for TV.
In the olden days, matches all started at three!
L is for Losing which makes fans quite cross,
And for Linesmen with whom players argue the toss.
M is for Mascots, all bouncy and funny,
Like a bee or a wolf or a bloody great bunny!
N is for New Grounds, no history behind them,
Stuck miles out from anywhere so you can’t find them!
O is for Offside, a goal disallowed
When the man with the flag disagrees with the crowd!
Q is for Quiet grounds where fans sing no more.
They just clap politely if their team should score.
R is for Referees – fair, firm and kind,
But sometimes supporters suggest that they’re blind!
S is for Sending Off, players get mad,
As the ref waves his card they yell “You’ve got no dad!”
T is for Time Added On at the end
When a manager’s watch becomes his best friend.
U is for Unfair, when referees seem
To be a big fan of the opposite team.
V is for View when the game is a thriller
But you might not see from behind that big pillar!
W’s for words that are not always nice,
Don’t say them in nursery, take my advice!
X is in eXtra time when no goals are scored,
You’ll want to go home cos you’re getting quite bored.
Y is the Youth squad whose players all dream
Of being old rich and foreign just like the first team!
And Z is for Z list, the girls who hang round
To catch all the players when they leave the ground!
@ Carol Wood
Index of Posts:
- Shirt Man: Sign Of the Times
- Anthem For Doomed Yoof
- If Carlsberg Did Birthdays
- An (Extra)ordinary Boy
- Mummy’s Precious Prat
- World Cup Fever
- Don’t Be A Wannabeeeeeee
- Ray’s Chelsea Story
- I was a Butch Wilkins Babe
- That Day Will Never Come
- Plastic Clearout
- Back To Basics:
- Lazy Players Don’t Work Hard
- The Transfer Troll Is King
- The Night The League Was Won
- A die-hard Chelsea Woman
- Breaking News on PieGate
- Chinese Puzzle
- Older Fans Matter
- Bradley Lowery’s Goal
- The Geezer That’s David Luiz
- You Are Old Said The Mail
- Dear Lady Brady,
- Dear Matthew Harding,
- In Memory Of Matthew Harding: 26/12/1953 – 22/10/1996
- Geezer Love
- Love Letters From The Stand
- Costa: More sinned Against Then Sinning With apologies to The Bard Himself. King Lear (3.2.49-60)
- Reunited: The return of David Luiz to Chelsea
- Hello Again, Geezer!
- The Rumour Mill
- Half a chance?
- Dear TV People,
- Rhyme and Treason
- Your Breaking News Ain’t Breaking Us
- We Didn’t Want Him Anyway
- Closing In
- The Blame Game
- How They Destroyed The Beautiful Game
- Till Death Do Us Part ….
- Ossie – King Of The Bridge
- The Ardent Armchair Die-hard Supporter
- The Day A Dream Came True
- The Toddler’s ABC Of Football
- Save our Claudio
- Once upon a terraced time
- The Night We Were Robbed
- Oh for the Cup Winner’s Cup
- The Football Fan’s Trap
- League Ladders
- He Doesn’t Go
- For Matthew
- Big Man
- Back To The Future
- Rare Find
- The Football Supporter’s Guide To The Close-Season
- From The Hearts Of The Fans
- My Poetry, My Football Club
- Judged by association…
My bespoke poetry service, Diverse Verse
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NOT Just Saying: Carol’s comments on feminism, fashion, food and folly
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