You Are Old Said The Mail

(With apologies to Lewis Carroll)

You are old, said the Mail,
And you dye your hair blonde,
Your jeans are impossibly tight.
Yet still you insist you are worth getting kissed,
Do you think at your age that is right?
You are old, said the Mail,
And your face, it has lines.
You’ve never had botox at all.
Yet you vie for attention
From players we mention,
Should you even BE at football?
You are old, said the Mail
And you don’t fit our bill
Of how an old woman should be.
You held a big banner in flirtatious manner,
And romped for the whole world to see!
You are old, said the Mail,
Past your prime, getting on,
A woman of fifty-six years!
And yet you don’t hide. Have you really no pride?
You’re endorsing our readers’ worst fears!
Well, I’ll say Daily Mail that I’m not yet quite frail,
I’m not gaga, or sweet, or infirm.
I’m a woman quite active
(My spouse says attractive!)
Has that made your readership squirm?
But it’s wrong! Says the Mail
To be visible still.
We’d hoped for a sexy young thing
To be clutching that shirt,
Not a hag in short skirt
And DMs that suggest she’s left-wing.
So up yours, Daily Mail cos I will not conform
To your idea of ‘acting my age.’
And I’ll do what I please, hugging David Luiz,
For I live in the pink, not in beige!

© Carol Ann Wood
December 2016

luiz-elderly-woman


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NOT Just Saying: Carol’s comments on feminism, fashion, food and folly
Only in Erinsborough Carol Ann’s fun look at the lives and loves of the characters from the Australian soapNeighbours


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